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| ROCK COUNTY NOW DAILY NEWS: Entertainment |
"RIP Kurt."
Fifteen years ago Wednesday, at a house adjacent to the park, Kurt Cobain's dead body was
discovered by an electrician.
The Nirvana frontman, 27, had committed suicide, police later ruled, killing himself with a shotgun
while high on heroin and pills.
His death ended a battle with hard drugs and added Cobain to a long list of legendary musicians,
such as Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin, whose careers were cut short by their addictions.
Cobain's ashes were reportedly scattered in a Washington state river and a New York Buddhist
temple.
Nirvana band mates Krist Novoselic and Dave Grohl eventually formed other bands. Cobain's widow,
Courtney Love, stayed in the limelight with an acting career and legal problems surrounding her own
drug problems. Frances Bean, the couple's daughter, has largely lived outside the public eye.
What was unclear when Cobain died was whether the music Nirvana created would endure or fade
away like the grunge craze it helped to inspire.
"At point I thought, 15 years on, no one would really know who Kurt Cobain was outside of a group of
diehard fans," said Jeff Burlingame, a Cobain biographer who grew up with the musician in Aberdeen,
Washington, and knew him when he was a teenager who, without a place to sleep, crashed on mutual
friends' couches.
But Nirvana's music endured, and Cobain even found fans in his hometown of Aberdeen, which he
had derided as a small-minded town.
"The old-timers who were there when Kurt was around really took offense to some of the things he
said about the area, so they had no real reason to honor him," said Burlingame, who co-founded the
Kurt Cobain Memorial Committee.
A famous son is a famous son, though. Now, visitors arriving in Aberdeen are greeted with a sign that
reads "Come As You Are," after a famous Nirvana song.
Cobain Memorial Committee members, who include Cobain's paternal grandfather, hope to establish
a community center in the late rocker's honor that would give area youth a place to play music and
pursue artistic interests.
A concert will be held Friday in Seattle to honor Cobain and raise money for the center.
When Cobain died, he left behind a fortune that was estimated in the millions.
Even more money poured in over time from the royalties from his songs. But a lawyer hired by Love,
Rhonda Holmes, says most of that money is missing.
According to Holmes, Love recently discovered that "managers, assistants, CPAs, lawyers, people
like that who were supposed to be entrusted with carrying for their well-being and finances basically
looted the estate."
Forensic accountants are now trying to determine where tens of millions of dollars from Cobain's
estate ended up and how it could be recovered, Holmes said.
Fifteen years ago Wednesday, at a house adjacent to the park, Kurt Cobain's dead body was
discovered by an electrician.
The Nirvana frontman, 27, had committed suicide, police later ruled, killing himself with a shotgun
while high on heroin and pills.
His death ended a battle with hard drugs and added Cobain to a long list of legendary musicians,
such as Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin, whose careers were cut short by their addictions.
Cobain's ashes were reportedly scattered in a Washington state river and a New York Buddhist
temple.
Nirvana band mates Krist Novoselic and Dave Grohl eventually formed other bands. Cobain's widow,
Courtney Love, stayed in the limelight with an acting career and legal problems surrounding her own
drug problems. Frances Bean, the couple's daughter, has largely lived outside the public eye.
What was unclear when Cobain died was whether the music Nirvana created would endure or fade
away like the grunge craze it helped to inspire.
"At point I thought, 15 years on, no one would really know who Kurt Cobain was outside of a group of
diehard fans," said Jeff Burlingame, a Cobain biographer who grew up with the musician in Aberdeen,
Washington, and knew him when he was a teenager who, without a place to sleep, crashed on mutual
friends' couches.
But Nirvana's music endured, and Cobain even found fans in his hometown of Aberdeen, which he
had derided as a small-minded town.
"The old-timers who were there when Kurt was around really took offense to some of the things he
said about the area, so they had no real reason to honor him," said Burlingame, who co-founded the
Kurt Cobain Memorial Committee.
A famous son is a famous son, though. Now, visitors arriving in Aberdeen are greeted with a sign that
reads "Come As You Are," after a famous Nirvana song.
Cobain Memorial Committee members, who include Cobain's paternal grandfather, hope to establish
a community center in the late rocker's honor that would give area youth a place to play music and
pursue artistic interests.
A concert will be held Friday in Seattle to honor Cobain and raise money for the center.
When Cobain died, he left behind a fortune that was estimated in the millions.
Even more money poured in over time from the royalties from his songs. But a lawyer hired by Love,
Rhonda Holmes, says most of that money is missing.
According to Holmes, Love recently discovered that "managers, assistants, CPAs, lawyers, people
like that who were supposed to be entrusted with carrying for their well-being and finances basically
looted the estate."
Forensic accountants are now trying to determine where tens of millions of dollars from Cobain's
estate ended up and how it could be recovered, Holmes said.
Kurt Cobain remembered 15 years after his death
SEATTLE, Washington (AP) -- The park bench facing Lake
Washington is covered with flowers, poems, a pack of Lucky
Strike cigarettes and graffiti.
Underwood also took home the award for top female vocalist, a
repeat of last year's win.
"I miss your beautiful face and voice," one dedication reads.
"Thank you for inspiring me," says another.
Washington is covered with flowers, poems, a pack of Lucky
Strike cigarettes and graffiti.
Underwood also took home the award for top female vocalist, a
repeat of last year's win.
"I miss your beautiful face and voice," one dedication reads.
"Thank you for inspiring me," says another.
Actor Michael J. Fox opens up to Larry King
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Actor, author and Parkinson's disease
activist Michael J. Fox spoke with CNN's "Larry King Live" to be
aired Thursday.
In the interview, Fox, who was diagnosed with Parkinson's in
1991, talks about his new book, which he describes as "a
memoir of the last 10 years." In it, he explores the nature of
optimism.
He also talked about his family, a new approach to acting and
activist Michael J. Fox spoke with CNN's "Larry King Live" to be
aired Thursday.
In the interview, Fox, who was diagnosed with Parkinson's in
1991, talks about his new book, which he describes as "a
memoir of the last 10 years." In it, he explores the nature of
optimism.
He also talked about his family, a new approach to acting and
President Obama's lifting of a ban on stem cell research, among other things. Here are some excerpts
from the show.
Larry King: He's founder of The Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research. He's a best-
selling author -- the new book is "Always Looking Up." By the way, he has got an ABC special,
"Michael J. Fox: Adventures of an Incurable Optimist." It airs on May 7. You remain -- is it easy to be an
optimist?
Michael J. Fox: Well, for me it's second nature. It's just the way I look at life. And it's certainly a
challenge now for most people to be optimistic, obviously, with all of the troubles we have and the
problems that the country is facing.
But I think it's exactly in those times when our optimism kicks in highest gear. I think -- there's an
expression that I like that I always use: "Don't wish for a lighter load, wish for broader shoulders." And I
think that people are really -- I see a lot of broader shoulders these days, people are really working on
the delts, you know?
King: What was it like when you were diagnosed?
Fox: Well, you know, it's hard to describe it, because I was so young, I was 29 years old. And so
Parkinson's is not what you expect to hear. I had a twitch in my pinky and I figured it was some kind of
nerve damage or I'd done something probably athletic. ... But then I got this diagnosis, and I thought
the guy was kidding. And then it was shock, and then I had a certain amount of fear and I started to
react to it in certain ways. I started drinking more heavily as a way of self-medicating it.
And it took me -- you know, it's funny, because I sit and talk about "Always Looking Up" and being
optimistic, and accept the losses and move on or find new gains, but it took me about seven years, I
think, to really get to the point where I could tell people about it. ... I was diagnosed in '91, and it wasn't
until '98 that I admitted publicly that it was a situation I was facing.
King: It is not life-threatening, is it?
Fox: No. And I would say you don't die from it, but you -- up to now, you'll definitely die with it if you have
it. ...
King: Why did you write the book?
Fox: The book was -- I wrote the first book because I had to, I think I had to kind of tell that story just for
myself, just kind of to acknowledge all of the work that I had done on getting through that journey.
And then this book was -- I thought about writing another, and I thought about people responding so
positively to the optimism in the first book. And so many people wanted to talk to me about that.
So I thought, well, optimism: What is optimism? And so I started to think about it more kind of
empirically, writing a book about optimism as a subject, and interviewing researchers about it and
talking to people who are optimistic and traveling to places where people are optimistic and all of this
stuff. ...
So I had to kind of tell it -- I couldn't tell, talk about optimism without -- and separate it from my
experience. I had to make it part of my experience. So then, having done that, and written this book,
which is really a memoir of the last 10 years, I still have these questions about optimism.
So I went to ABC and I said, 'There was a thing I was going to do a book on, but I'd like to do a
documentary special on.' And they said, great.
And so we've been traveling around, talking to optimists. We went to Bhutan, which is a country in the
Himalayas that actually measures its gross national happiness along with its GDP.
King: Really?
Fox: Yes. And it makes decisions on its development as a country based on how to affect the
happiness of the people. And the people are uniformly happy. It's amazing. ...
King: Speaking of optimism, in March, President Obama lifted the ban on federal financing for
embryonic stem cell research. You've long fought for that. You've got to feel like a -- it has come true. ...
King: When you act, is it hard?
Fox: Oh, yes. I don't have any access to the same tool kit that I always had. But it's like anything. It's
like, you find new ways of doing things. And in those new ways, you maybe are able to do things you
couldn't do before in ways you might not have approached before.
And that's my whole kind of philosophy of life is -- in dealing with Parkinson's or any kind of setback or
loss, is that if you avoid it or it creates a hole that you try to fill up with other stuff, with your ego and your
needs and your wants and your control issues, then you're just going to dig deeper in a hole.
But if you just recognize, 'look, it is what it is' -- now what's around it? I mean, the only thing that I don't
have a choice about is whether I have Parkinson's. Everything else I have a choice about. ...
King: Parts of your book are a love letter to your wife, Tracy. Without being saccharine, how important
has she been?
Fox: I couldn't have made the journey that I've made without her. And certainly I wouldn't have this family
that I have. And three-quarters of our children were born after the diagnosis. And we knew what we
were facing, what we were dealing with, and had some sense of what the prospects were, although
they've turned out a lot better than we could have imagined.
I mean, I'm 20 years after diagnosis, and there's very little that I don't do now that I used to do. I still
travel with my kids, and I'm with them part of the day, every day.
King: How old are they now?
Fox: My oldest is 19 -- he'll be 20 next month. And the twins are going into high school next year; they
are 14. And then I have a 7-year-old.
from the show.
Larry King: He's founder of The Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research. He's a best-
selling author -- the new book is "Always Looking Up." By the way, he has got an ABC special,
"Michael J. Fox: Adventures of an Incurable Optimist." It airs on May 7. You remain -- is it easy to be an
optimist?
Michael J. Fox: Well, for me it's second nature. It's just the way I look at life. And it's certainly a
challenge now for most people to be optimistic, obviously, with all of the troubles we have and the
problems that the country is facing.
But I think it's exactly in those times when our optimism kicks in highest gear. I think -- there's an
expression that I like that I always use: "Don't wish for a lighter load, wish for broader shoulders." And I
think that people are really -- I see a lot of broader shoulders these days, people are really working on
the delts, you know?
King: What was it like when you were diagnosed?
Fox: Well, you know, it's hard to describe it, because I was so young, I was 29 years old. And so
Parkinson's is not what you expect to hear. I had a twitch in my pinky and I figured it was some kind of
nerve damage or I'd done something probably athletic. ... But then I got this diagnosis, and I thought
the guy was kidding. And then it was shock, and then I had a certain amount of fear and I started to
react to it in certain ways. I started drinking more heavily as a way of self-medicating it.
And it took me -- you know, it's funny, because I sit and talk about "Always Looking Up" and being
optimistic, and accept the losses and move on or find new gains, but it took me about seven years, I
think, to really get to the point where I could tell people about it. ... I was diagnosed in '91, and it wasn't
until '98 that I admitted publicly that it was a situation I was facing.
King: It is not life-threatening, is it?
Fox: No. And I would say you don't die from it, but you -- up to now, you'll definitely die with it if you have
it. ...
King: Why did you write the book?
Fox: The book was -- I wrote the first book because I had to, I think I had to kind of tell that story just for
myself, just kind of to acknowledge all of the work that I had done on getting through that journey.
And then this book was -- I thought about writing another, and I thought about people responding so
positively to the optimism in the first book. And so many people wanted to talk to me about that.
So I thought, well, optimism: What is optimism? And so I started to think about it more kind of
empirically, writing a book about optimism as a subject, and interviewing researchers about it and
talking to people who are optimistic and traveling to places where people are optimistic and all of this
stuff. ...
So I had to kind of tell it -- I couldn't tell, talk about optimism without -- and separate it from my
experience. I had to make it part of my experience. So then, having done that, and written this book,
which is really a memoir of the last 10 years, I still have these questions about optimism.
So I went to ABC and I said, 'There was a thing I was going to do a book on, but I'd like to do a
documentary special on.' And they said, great.
And so we've been traveling around, talking to optimists. We went to Bhutan, which is a country in the
Himalayas that actually measures its gross national happiness along with its GDP.
King: Really?
Fox: Yes. And it makes decisions on its development as a country based on how to affect the
happiness of the people. And the people are uniformly happy. It's amazing. ...
King: Speaking of optimism, in March, President Obama lifted the ban on federal financing for
embryonic stem cell research. You've long fought for that. You've got to feel like a -- it has come true. ...
King: When you act, is it hard?
Fox: Oh, yes. I don't have any access to the same tool kit that I always had. But it's like anything. It's
like, you find new ways of doing things. And in those new ways, you maybe are able to do things you
couldn't do before in ways you might not have approached before.
And that's my whole kind of philosophy of life is -- in dealing with Parkinson's or any kind of setback or
loss, is that if you avoid it or it creates a hole that you try to fill up with other stuff, with your ego and your
needs and your wants and your control issues, then you're just going to dig deeper in a hole.
But if you just recognize, 'look, it is what it is' -- now what's around it? I mean, the only thing that I don't
have a choice about is whether I have Parkinson's. Everything else I have a choice about. ...
King: Parts of your book are a love letter to your wife, Tracy. Without being saccharine, how important
has she been?
Fox: I couldn't have made the journey that I've made without her. And certainly I wouldn't have this family
that I have. And three-quarters of our children were born after the diagnosis. And we knew what we
were facing, what we were dealing with, and had some sense of what the prospects were, although
they've turned out a lot better than we could have imagined.
I mean, I'm 20 years after diagnosis, and there's very little that I don't do now that I used to do. I still
travel with my kids, and I'm with them part of the day, every day.
King: How old are they now?
Fox: My oldest is 19 -- he'll be 20 next month. And the twins are going into high school next year; they
are 14. And then I have a 7-year-old.
Chivalry is not dead! Plus, it's free
-- I found my devotion to Patti Stanger of "The Millionaire
Matchmaker" rise to a new level last night, as I found myself
yelling at the screen, "Yes, Patti, YES! Preach sister!" Sure, I
disagree that men and women should stick to traditional gender
roles and hate her staunch anti-curly hair stance, but Patti's got
gems.
I was cheering when she touted just how far a guy can get by
showing a little chivalry. "Chivalry is free and it gets the girl."
Indeed, Patti, indeed.
Matchmaker" rise to a new level last night, as I found myself
yelling at the screen, "Yes, Patti, YES! Preach sister!" Sure, I
disagree that men and women should stick to traditional gender
roles and hate her staunch anti-curly hair stance, but Patti's got
gems.
I was cheering when she touted just how far a guy can get by
showing a little chivalry. "Chivalry is free and it gets the girl."
Indeed, Patti, indeed.
You see, my current dating situation is kind of lacking in that area, and while he's practically perfect in
every other way, this has become a major stumbling block.
Patti and I disagree a little about what kind of chivalry is really necessary and will get the girl (at least
this girl). Patti's big into door opening and meal ordering, but I don't care so much about that.
But here are five chivalrous moves I think Patti and I would co-sign.
Note: Sometimes when a guy isn't being chivalrous, he's really just being a wimp, isn't into you, and is
blowing you off. However, other times he does really like you, but is being LAZY.
Be confident in his feelings before having the following expectations. Because if you can safely
conclude he's probably blowing you off, you should get over his butt, fast. The lazy ones, on the other
hand, can be changed, if you stand up for expect these five examples of chivalry.
1. Text back: I'm hardly a text message stalker, though after IM, it is my favorite method of
communication. I expect a man to text me back, regardless of whether he is busy with work or
watching a sports game. I don't need an epic novel in reply, because chances are I was just saying,"
hi," but acknowledging my outreach is only fair. It's rude not to.
Exceptions are always made for dead batteries and emergencies, of course. Bad moods? You only
get one or two passes for that. Don't be a baby. Be a man. I'll care about your bad mood when it isn't
affecting your gentlemanly treatment of me.
2. Give advance notice: Not to steal a page from "The Rules," but I like dates to be scheduled in
advance. I'm a busy lady -- I will make plans if I don't hear from you. And if I don't hear from a dude until
the last minute, it makes me think that he thinks I'm sitting around, always ready to meet up with him.
That pisses me off.
The spur of the moment date is awesome in ADDITION, but it should not replace the practice of calling
many days in advance and suggesting a day to hang out. I'm no sexist, however-I think women should
instigate dates as well, as often, and with the same respect.
3. Have a plan: Whoever is "in charge" of that planned-in-advance-date, should actually MAKE a
plan. Take charge, show you've thought about what might make a good time for the two of you.
Hanging out and watching crap TV is fun sometimes, but it should not replace actually, you know,
dating. That is not to say dates must be expensive.
My last relationship (the ex-fiance) was great with the super pricey dinner dates, but was utterly
uncreative when it came to anything else. Frankly, I'd much rather a fully-planned date of free or cheap
activities than a $300 meal devoid of ingenuity, but I'm not getting either right now from ol' Chicken
Parm and it is getting OLD.
4. Weeks and weekends: Both are important. So are nights and days. Mix it up. If a guy only wants
to hang out after 10 p.m. on Wednesdays, you gotta wonder what the hell he's doing during the day
and evening (is he a vampire?) or on the weekends (dating someone who's graduated to the next
level of dating?).
5. Lateness and rudeness -- unacceptable, almost always: Usually lateness can be prevented.
Think about it. You wake up 30 minutes after your alarm went off. You hustle to get to work on time
anyway don't you? People you're dating deserve the same respect and commitment.
The occasional bit of lateness I can excuse and I'm always happy to hear an explanation, but
reoccurring lateness is a sign that your kindness is being taken advantage of, that he is being lazy in
the courtesy department, and is counting on your inclination to forgive and his charm to get him out of
hot water.
Forget that. If he's usually late NOW, imagine how late he'll be in six months, or in three years when
you're having a baby and have to drive yourself to the hospital because he forgot to check his watch.
Likewise, a chivalrous gentleman should always think about how his tone and his attitude might be
taken, whether or not it reflects his intentions. When I'm busy at work, and someone IMs me or calls
me to chat, I might be a little irritated that I'm being bothered, but I'm always courteous and polite in my
response. "I'd love to chat with you about this, but I'm in the middle of something important at work.
Can I call you later?" takes only about three more seconds to type than just, "Busy."
At the end of the day, chivalry is about one thing -- pulling your head out of your own "busy," "over-
worked, "moody" hiney for just a second to think about how your actions might be interpreted by the
other person. If you care about them, tweaking your actions just the slightest bit so that it takes their
feelings into account, is easy, worth the effort, and will pay off BIG TIME.
every other way, this has become a major stumbling block.
Patti and I disagree a little about what kind of chivalry is really necessary and will get the girl (at least
this girl). Patti's big into door opening and meal ordering, but I don't care so much about that.
But here are five chivalrous moves I think Patti and I would co-sign.
Note: Sometimes when a guy isn't being chivalrous, he's really just being a wimp, isn't into you, and is
blowing you off. However, other times he does really like you, but is being LAZY.
Be confident in his feelings before having the following expectations. Because if you can safely
conclude he's probably blowing you off, you should get over his butt, fast. The lazy ones, on the other
hand, can be changed, if you stand up for expect these five examples of chivalry.
1. Text back: I'm hardly a text message stalker, though after IM, it is my favorite method of
communication. I expect a man to text me back, regardless of whether he is busy with work or
watching a sports game. I don't need an epic novel in reply, because chances are I was just saying,"
hi," but acknowledging my outreach is only fair. It's rude not to.
Exceptions are always made for dead batteries and emergencies, of course. Bad moods? You only
get one or two passes for that. Don't be a baby. Be a man. I'll care about your bad mood when it isn't
affecting your gentlemanly treatment of me.
2. Give advance notice: Not to steal a page from "The Rules," but I like dates to be scheduled in
advance. I'm a busy lady -- I will make plans if I don't hear from you. And if I don't hear from a dude until
the last minute, it makes me think that he thinks I'm sitting around, always ready to meet up with him.
That pisses me off.
The spur of the moment date is awesome in ADDITION, but it should not replace the practice of calling
many days in advance and suggesting a day to hang out. I'm no sexist, however-I think women should
instigate dates as well, as often, and with the same respect.
3. Have a plan: Whoever is "in charge" of that planned-in-advance-date, should actually MAKE a
plan. Take charge, show you've thought about what might make a good time for the two of you.
Hanging out and watching crap TV is fun sometimes, but it should not replace actually, you know,
dating. That is not to say dates must be expensive.
My last relationship (the ex-fiance) was great with the super pricey dinner dates, but was utterly
uncreative when it came to anything else. Frankly, I'd much rather a fully-planned date of free or cheap
activities than a $300 meal devoid of ingenuity, but I'm not getting either right now from ol' Chicken
Parm and it is getting OLD.
4. Weeks and weekends: Both are important. So are nights and days. Mix it up. If a guy only wants
to hang out after 10 p.m. on Wednesdays, you gotta wonder what the hell he's doing during the day
and evening (is he a vampire?) or on the weekends (dating someone who's graduated to the next
level of dating?).
5. Lateness and rudeness -- unacceptable, almost always: Usually lateness can be prevented.
Think about it. You wake up 30 minutes after your alarm went off. You hustle to get to work on time
anyway don't you? People you're dating deserve the same respect and commitment.
The occasional bit of lateness I can excuse and I'm always happy to hear an explanation, but
reoccurring lateness is a sign that your kindness is being taken advantage of, that he is being lazy in
the courtesy department, and is counting on your inclination to forgive and his charm to get him out of
hot water.
Forget that. If he's usually late NOW, imagine how late he'll be in six months, or in three years when
you're having a baby and have to drive yourself to the hospital because he forgot to check his watch.
Likewise, a chivalrous gentleman should always think about how his tone and his attitude might be
taken, whether or not it reflects his intentions. When I'm busy at work, and someone IMs me or calls
me to chat, I might be a little irritated that I'm being bothered, but I'm always courteous and polite in my
response. "I'd love to chat with you about this, but I'm in the middle of something important at work.
Can I call you later?" takes only about three more seconds to type than just, "Busy."
At the end of the day, chivalry is about one thing -- pulling your head out of your own "busy," "over-
worked, "moody" hiney for just a second to think about how your actions might be interpreted by the
other person. If you care about them, tweaking your actions just the slightest bit so that it takes their
feelings into account, is easy, worth the effort, and will pay off BIG TIME.